For real. Also, when you're as good-looking as either of us handsome bastards, why settle for a pity fuck? That's just low, even for me.

[Rex toggles with his zipper, pulling it down farther, then back up once again. Fidgeting.

He is used to being the aggressor in these situations. Boast as he may, he's only had one girlfriend, ever, and they dated for over four years. It's nice being the one being chased for once, and not by some superhero fangirl who is far too young and also foaming at the mouth.]

Do you... Do you mind? Do you think they'd mind? I'm actually not doin' this to show off, it's fuckin' hot as balls in here. Or Dante's Inferno! Which, I'm pretty sure? Is just a story about some crazy dude's sweaty-ass balls. I'm positive. I mean, just think about it! It sounds like an old-timey term for a disease you could catch.

[Rex leans over on both elbows, beginning a piss-poor attempt at a whisper.]

Seriously.

Is this a "No shirt, no shoes, no service," sorta establishment? I'm new here. I don't fuckin' know! Am I gonna be fined a shilling for disturbing the peace? 'Cause I don't have any dough. Everything I drank tonight was sent right on over to me.

[what a fucking brat]