[ Where can she begin? Should she begin? Does spilling her life's problems to this random ass teen, on this random ass train, even matter? Does any of this matter? Lottie mulls over her reply as she stares at Toko — now without her glasses and looking a strange mix between herself and Charlene. She remembers when she'd take her glasses off and stare at herself hard in the mirror, willing the Lottie she wished she could be into existence.

Suddenly, she feels stupid, wearing this gaudy gown in this rundown bar. What is she doing, even? ]

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me after five years together. He's the only guy I ever dated. [ She frowns, ] I still haven't told my family because it's easier to just let them think we're still together.

I had a stalker, who wanted to be me. He dated her when we were on a "break". She said when she was trying to be me she felt so miserable. And then she kissed me and Caroline pushed her off the roof. Allegedly. [ A pause. ] Going to court sucks.

And, actually, honestly, all my friends suck. And probably will never believe any of the stupid crap happening right now, even if I told them. No one listens to me. I can't talk to people. I play myself all the time. Everyone in my family thinks I'm crazy for being a blogger.

[ There's a moment where she doesn't say anything, clearly about to let loose something ("And I think I killed my crush one time, but she's alive so I don't even know anymore.") but chooses not to. ]

..And more, obviously. A lot of stuff has been going on.