1. EXCUSE ME YOU’RE A HELL OF A GUY [ I will assume that no one wants to thread a 500 comment convincing argument (and if you do, I do not.) so once Vidal gets the gist of the glowy crystal’s parameters, he not only hangs very far back for a hell of a long time, he genuinely has to wrack his brains. He’s not a particularly sentimental person when it comes to the kind of hot garbage pop that constitutes his guilty pleasures. It’s pretty much just noise to him. Nice noise, but still. ]
[ There’s the one that his sister demands they bust out every year for birthday karaoke… Does that count? It does sort of mark one of a couple times a year he ever gets to see her thanks to his over-demanding job… And he’d missed their birthday, by being here. Really missed it. Maybe that’d do. Just… Why does it have to be what it is..? ]
[ After a couple very quiet starts and the crystal giving him a single, extremely unimpressed blink (weak shit, bitch.) and after a lot of glaring back, and after a lot more reckoning with himself that he’s going to die in here… Once the coast is quite clear, he stuffs his airpods in his ears and just fucking goes for it because this one is for the boys with the boomin’ system... ]
[ It’s shower rules. Alone in the car rules. Maybe not quite that loud but it's determinedly unapologetic (cause he is not doing this twice). And for the most part his eyes stay shut, or focused on the crystal that somehow seems like it’s glowing in approval. He just has to get through enough for the damn thing. He can deal with witness disposal later. 🔪 ]
[ ooc: Honestly you're also welcome to hold onto this for blackmail even if you don't tag this one. ]
2. GBBOH-NO [ Here stands a man who has binged the entirety of Great British Bake-Off. And not only is he genre-savvy, he’s pretty damn good in the kitchen. If we’re being honest, the kitchen is his happy place... So why the fuck does he keep spilling shit like a black-and-white infomercial? ]
[ So far, Vidal’s been moving around the kitchen with an obvious comfort, confidence, and now exponential caution, but things just seem to be finding themselves in the exact wrong place at the wrong time. A fumbled measuring cup here, a bottle clocked with an elbow there. After the third mess or so is quickly and meticulously mopped up off the counter, if he’s flustered he’s hiding it extremely well beneath a steely annoyance. There’s a measuring cup protectively surrounded by several objects now that he’s finally and very deliberately filled with oil, hands steady as fucking stone, and he’s got the bottle upright on the counter, and he’s got the cap on, and— ]
[ Someone somewhere far down the line must’ve hip checked the counter. That or the measuring cup just decides of its own free will to juke its prison and slosh all down the front of the cabinets and drawers. And Vidal vanishes with it, gripping the edge of the counter and dropping to a crouch, sitting on his heels, muffling a scream of frustration behind closed lips and against his knees. ]
a. [ He’s just gonna sit here for a minute if you want to point and laugh. ]
b. [ If you rightfully decide that it’s absolutely none of your business, eventually he stands up with a deep breath and addresses whoever’s closest (you.) in an unpleasantly calm tone of voice: ]
Can I ask you to measure a couple’a things for me, I’ve been fucking cursed over here.
3. LET’S HOLD HANDS AND TELL EACH OTHER SECRETS [ Two things about absolute darkness: It’s absolute, and that’s where the really nasty shit hides. And two things about Vidal, he’s both extremely paranoid and extremely good at being quiet when he wants to be. Which is good for both listening and not being listened to. Things that go bump in the night are a serious occupational hazard, after all. His ears aren’t supersonic, but he does stand still for a good long time to listen for more… ominous noises. Strange gaits, slithering, rumbling or clicking. ]
[ … So far, it just sounds like one human(oid) dipshit bumbling around in the dark nearby (or gracefully slinking, I shouldn’t generalize!), so once he can hear them treading close enough to perhaps be within arm’s reach, he pipes up irritably out of dead silence and stillness: ]
Hey, d’you mind?
[ He’s trying to read a room here. He isn’t invisible to super senses, of course, but still. Boo. ]
4. GEOLOGIST BEATEN UP BY ‘ANGRIEST OCTOPUS’ ON BEACH [ For as bougie as he might be, surprisingly (is it though?), Vidal isn’t a spa person. Spa is a face mask and a long bath in the privacy of your own home, thanks. You think he’s gonna pay for people to touch him?? Or in this case, volunteer??? No!! ]
[ He is, however, more of a beach person than one might expect. As soon as he can reasonably locate some surf leggings and a snorkel, you bet your ass he’s out to sea roaming some coral reefs. Occasionally diving down, keeping his hands respectfully to himself, but peeking around at the swirling clouds of colorful fish, and the eels and octopi buried in tiny crevasses. ]
[ Which goes largely without incident for quite a long while, and maybe that false sense of security is what catches Vidal off guard when an incredibly rude cephalopod takes none too kindly to his prying eyes and latches to his mask at lightning speed. Squirming and kicking, he shoots for the surface, ripping the mask off but—too late, it’s stuck to his arm, crawling back up it with mad determination. ]
You little shit—!
[ And so somewhere not too far off-shore, maybe that man splashing and flailing and shouting obscenities is drowning? Probably not, just engaged in vicious combat. Asshole on asshole violence out here. It’s fine. Go get some popcorn. ]
5. HIT ME [ Wildcard!! I did mostly silly prompts for myself and will poke my nose into more srs prompts tagging out, but if you want to do Otome or Dinos HMU and we’ll make it happen here and now!!!! ]
Vidal | original | come at me
[ I will assume that no one wants to thread a 500 comment convincing argument (and if you do, I do not.) so once Vidal gets the gist of the glowy crystal’s parameters, he not only hangs very far back for a hell of a long time, he genuinely has to wrack his brains. He’s not a particularly sentimental person when it comes to the kind of hot garbage pop that constitutes his guilty pleasures. It’s pretty much just noise to him. Nice noise, but still. ]
[ There’s the one that his sister demands they bust out every year for birthday karaoke… Does that count? It does sort of mark one of a couple times a year he ever gets to see her thanks to his over-demanding job… And he’d missed their birthday, by being here. Really missed it. Maybe that’d do. Just… Why does it have to be what it is..? ]
[ After a couple very quiet starts and the crystal giving him a single, extremely unimpressed blink (weak shit, bitch.) and after a lot of glaring back, and after a lot more reckoning with himself that he’s going to die in here… Once the coast is quite clear, he stuffs his airpods in his ears and just fucking goes for it because this one is for the boys with the boomin’ system... ]
[ It’s shower rules. Alone in the car rules. Maybe not quite that loud but it's determinedly unapologetic (cause he is not doing this twice). And for the most part his eyes stay shut, or focused on the crystal that somehow seems like it’s glowing in approval. He just has to get through enough for the damn thing. He can deal with witness disposal later. 🔪 ]
[ ooc: Honestly you're also welcome to hold onto this for blackmail even if you don't tag this one. ]
2. GBBOH-NO
[ Here stands a man who has binged the entirety of Great British Bake-Off. And not only is he genre-savvy, he’s pretty damn good in the kitchen. If we’re being honest, the kitchen is his happy place... So why the fuck does he keep spilling shit like a black-and-white infomercial? ]
[ So far, Vidal’s been moving around the kitchen with an obvious comfort, confidence, and now exponential caution, but things just seem to be finding themselves in the exact wrong place at the wrong time. A fumbled measuring cup here, a bottle clocked with an elbow there. After the third mess or so is quickly and meticulously mopped up off the counter, if he’s flustered he’s hiding it extremely well beneath a steely annoyance. There’s a measuring cup protectively surrounded by several objects now that he’s finally and very deliberately filled with oil, hands steady as fucking stone, and he’s got the bottle upright on the counter, and he’s got the cap on, and— ]
[ Someone somewhere far down the line must’ve hip checked the counter. That or the measuring cup just decides of its own free will to juke its prison and slosh all down the front of the cabinets and drawers. And Vidal vanishes with it, gripping the edge of the counter and dropping to a crouch, sitting on his heels, muffling a scream of frustration behind closed lips and against his knees. ]
a.
[ He’s just gonna sit here for a minute if you want to point and laugh. ]
b.
[ If you rightfully decide that it’s absolutely none of your business, eventually he stands up with a deep breath and addresses whoever’s closest (you.) in an unpleasantly calm tone of voice: ]
Can I ask you to measure a couple’a things for me, I’ve been fucking cursed over here.
3. LET’S HOLD HANDS AND TELL EACH OTHER SECRETS
[ Two things about absolute darkness: It’s absolute, and that’s where the really nasty shit hides. And two things about Vidal, he’s both extremely paranoid and extremely good at being quiet when he wants to be. Which is good for both listening and not being listened to. Things that go bump in the night are a serious occupational hazard, after all. His ears aren’t supersonic, but he does stand still for a good long time to listen for more… ominous noises. Strange gaits, slithering, rumbling or clicking. ]
[ … So far, it just sounds like one human(oid) dipshit bumbling around in the dark nearby (or gracefully slinking, I shouldn’t generalize!), so once he can hear them treading close enough to perhaps be within arm’s reach, he pipes up irritably out of dead silence and stillness: ]
Hey, d’you mind?
[ He’s trying to read a room here. He isn’t invisible to super senses, of course, but still. Boo. ]
4. GEOLOGIST BEATEN UP BY ‘ANGRIEST OCTOPUS’ ON BEACH
[ For as bougie as he might be, surprisingly (is it though?), Vidal isn’t a spa person. Spa is a face mask and a long bath in the privacy of your own home, thanks. You think he’s gonna pay for people to touch him?? Or in this case, volunteer??? No!! ]
[ He is, however, more of a beach person than one might expect. As soon as he can reasonably locate some surf leggings and a snorkel, you bet your ass he’s out to sea roaming some coral reefs. Occasionally diving down, keeping his hands respectfully to himself, but peeking around at the swirling clouds of colorful fish, and the eels and octopi buried in tiny crevasses. ]
[ Which goes largely without incident for quite a long while, and maybe that false sense of security is what catches Vidal off guard when an incredibly rude cephalopod takes none too kindly to his prying eyes and latches to his mask at lightning speed. Squirming and kicking, he shoots for the surface, ripping the mask off but—too late, it’s stuck to his arm, crawling back up it with mad determination. ]
You little shit—!
[ And so somewhere not too far off-shore, maybe that man splashing and flailing and shouting obscenities is drowning? Probably not, just engaged in vicious combat. Asshole on asshole violence out here. It’s fine. Go get some popcorn. ]
5. HIT ME
[ Wildcard!! I did mostly silly prompts for myself and will poke my nose into more srs prompts tagging out, but if you want to do Otome or Dinos HMU and we’ll make it happen here and now!!!! ]