[Nothing is that simple. People didn't want her. Even if he's using hyperbole here (the comparison earns him a sharp glare between hiccups and sobs), the truth is that no one should.]
You d-don't have to g-get it. Because...because it's my life! Not yours! You d-don't even know me! [If only there were more sleeves to this shitty barely-there blouse. She twists and fetches three napkins from a tissue dispenser beside the bookcase. How convenient. She swipes the first under her nose, near rabid as she rips the evidence of her fit off her face.
Fat chance of that. More just keeps coming. She feels like she's been stabbed, even doubling over as the phantom wound sears her nerves.]
I love him. [He's everything she needs.] H-he's the only one who...
[She won't kill. Byakuya makes them both feel alive. Makes her believe there's a future to look forward to. Can give her the life she's always wanted.
Yes yes yes, but is that going to culminate in anything? She wants to be held by him. She wants him to twist her hair and throw her down. She wants him to ruin her. Rein her in. Keep her from flying apart at the seams. He might be the only one who can, but he just won't. He still won't do it.
Toko shivers on the spot. She feels like she might throw up. She needs to get out of here. She hates this place. And she hates Rex, suddenly, viciously. Did he need to keep showing up and hammering nails into her chest? Where the hell does he get off? Why does he want to do this to her?]
It's not about d-deserving anything. Anyone can tell a s-stupid, disgusting hag like me doesn't deserve things. It's wh-what I need. I just need someone who'll...t-take care of me.
[Even when it doesn't mean being kind. If they're talking about what she deserves, there was a noose with her name on it back in the Tokyo Detention House. There's probably still room in that fetid closet in her mother's old apartment, too.
Toko swallows back another sob. Mashes the next napkin under her glasses. And unbidden, a different voice is whispering in her ear. Soft and sweet, feminine. Earnest. Nothing like him. "A lot of terrible things happened to me in this city... And I have a lot of...bad memories. But I am so happy that I was able to meet you."
Why? Why is she thinking about Komaru now? Is her own head looking for salt to rub in the wound?]
cw: self esteem issues, unhealthy relationship dynamics, capital punishment, child abuse
You d-don't have to g-get it. Because...because it's my life! Not yours! You d-don't even know me! [If only there were more sleeves to this shitty barely-there blouse. She twists and fetches three napkins from a tissue dispenser beside the bookcase. How convenient. She swipes the first under her nose, near rabid as she rips the evidence of her fit off her face.
Fat chance of that. More just keeps coming. She feels like she's been stabbed, even doubling over as the phantom wound sears her nerves.]
I love him. [He's everything she needs.] H-he's the only one who...
[She won't kill. Byakuya makes them both feel alive. Makes her believe there's a future to look forward to. Can give her the life she's always wanted.
Yes yes yes, but is that going to culminate in anything? She wants to be held by him. She wants him to twist her hair and throw her down. She wants him to ruin her. Rein her in. Keep her from flying apart at the seams. He might be the only one who can, but he just won't. He still won't do it.
Toko shivers on the spot. She feels like she might throw up. She needs to get out of here. She hates this place. And she hates Rex, suddenly, viciously. Did he need to keep showing up and hammering nails into her chest? Where the hell does he get off? Why does he want to do this to her?]
It's not about d-deserving anything. Anyone can tell a s-stupid, disgusting hag like me doesn't deserve things. It's wh-what I need. I just need someone who'll...t-take care of me.
[Even when it doesn't mean being kind. If they're talking about what she deserves, there was a noose with her name on it back in the Tokyo Detention House. There's probably still room in that fetid closet in her mother's old apartment, too.
Toko swallows back another sob. Mashes the next napkin under her glasses. And unbidden, a different voice is whispering in her ear. Soft and sweet, feminine. Earnest. Nothing like him. "A lot of terrible things happened to me in this city... And I have a lot of...bad memories. But I am so happy that I was able to meet you."
Why? Why is she thinking about Komaru now? Is her own head looking for salt to rub in the wound?]