[The scream may be strangled but the anguish is real. Yes, this is inconsequential, but also she cannot believe this is happening. Why her? Why him? Why must she be cursed to live and die with arcane knowledge of his dick?]

Stopitstopitstopit! I d-don't care! I didn't ask for an update!

[She slaps her hands her face, which has by now turned to a ripe tomato, as if she could retroactively block out the sight. Her voice is tightening to a doll-like squeak.]

C-can't we please move along? I'm t-too young to die of an anuerysm!!